I have read this book ” The Four Seasons of Marriage” and I came across a concept that I had never thought of in that manner before. It is defiantly worth a post and some digging into….
Ok so most married couples know that with marriage, comes work. Sometimes, more work on relationship skills, than you have ever had to work on before marriage. Seldom do people think about the work and skills needed before marriage. Some people may not realize these skills, till they are on second or third year of marriage.
Anyway, at some point our flesh kicks in, our self-centered, egotistical mind, gets tired of always thinking about the other person and we start thinking, “What about me?” The things we admired about the other person, those things that they had that we didn’t (ex. responsibility, social bug, spiritual, fearless, ect) starts to get annoying.
We tend to phrase it as “they are too…” as if they somehow decided to go overboard with that quality. Sometimes, that may be true, but more than likely, that is how they have always been it is just more recognizable now, because you are around that person more.
Personally, I think part of why we get annoyed by a certain attribute is sometimes because, we hoped that their trait would have rubbed off on us but it didn’t. As if just being around a person with a certain attribute would make us more responsible, more social , ect.
Additionally, marriage is not the only relationship that this can happen; it can in any relationship where people are involved. People are different, we all make good and bad decisions everyday. Unfortunately, we also can offend and/or anger people because of our choices. We’re different. Its inevitable.
Anyway, I never thought about the disagreements that I have with my husband or other people as a Spiritual thing before. I mean, I know satan uses disagreement to cause wedges between people.
But you know those times you have a disagreement with someone and you totally feel that you’re in the right and their in the wrong. I never thought of satan using a persons thoughts. of being more right, as a tool. Here’s an excerpt from, The four season’s of marriage, that explains what I am talking about better….
“I want to warn you, though, that Satan will also try to speak to your mind. His message will go something like this: ‘Well, certainly you were not kind, but that’s because of what Brent did to you. That’s not your fault. That doesn’t count.’ Satan does not want you to be honest. He wants you to blame others for your own sinful behavior. Remember, Adam and Eve listened to Satan’s voice. Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent.”
It’s the blame game. We’ve all done that, especially as a child, even if you didn’t have siblings, your invisible friends or teddy bear did it. While it is hard to see it in the middle of a disagreement. Look back on one, where we validated our actions because, we were right and they were wrong.
It’s egotistical, it’s fleshly but we have a hard time seeing or at least admitting, that when we’re in the situation. We’re giving the devil an upper hand when we allow this.
One of my favorite verse help in this situation…
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7
Resist those thoughts, that tells you, your wrong actions are validated. Resist the blame game. Additionally, if you didn’t resist, gain composure and apologize.
Adam and Eve, a lesson in relationships…good stuff. 🙂